STOP PRESS! THE GREAT SEXY SAMBAL SALE IS ON! ORDERS ARE NOW OPEN! (Very limited quantities!)

30 Aug

Ok LITTLE FEARLESS BOYS AND GIRLS.

You have heard the rumours and its true.

*flashflashflashflash* THE GREAT HOTHOTSEX SAMBAL SALE IS ON NOW! *flashflashflashflash*

the resident grrrlpower powerpuff grrrl, seasonal produce championer, sambal making extradinaire, hot babe of plusixfive, ShuHan, who handmakes her very own sambal with a shiiitlot of ingredients and more importantly, a heck of a lotta sweat, tears and buckets of love. READ ABOUT IT HERE >>>> http://mummyicancook.blogspot.co.uk/2011/08/sambal-tumis-my-very-important-belachan.html

And after years (ok fine, a week and a half) of armtwisting and blackmailing and .. (ok fine, asking nicely), ShuHan has made a very small batch of sambal sauces for all you lucky punters! At a very very stupidly reasonable price of FIVE POUNDS. You can just about get a pint at your hipster shoreditch local for that price, and you probably wont even get laid. At least, this HOTHOTSEX sambal WILL get you laid (results may vary).

And its definitely not as expensive as panda poop tea and definitely WAY better tasting. See testimonials BELOW if you are a cynical cynical FOOL and dont believe me.

Its the same sauce we use at the supperclub now actually for everything especially when ShuHan is at the stoves so if you have been and you like the sambal, you will be a dumboface to miss out on this.

Using my Professor X psychic abilities, secret ouija board and seance like skills (and CTRL-C), channelling ShuHan:

“I’ve mentioned this chilli before. This is not any ordinary chilli paste. Yes, you use this as a dip at the side, but you also use this as the base for creating so many Singaporean/ Malaysian classic stirfried noodles/barbeques/curries/sauces. That said, it’s an extraordinary dip, and nasi lemak is not nasi lemak, fried hokkien prawn mee is not fried hokkien prawn mee, without this sambal chilli on the side.

What’s unique about this chilli paste is belachan- a potent-smelling fermented ground shrimp. I still remember cooking with it last year when I was still staying in halls and my Turkish flatmate kind of flew out of the kitchen. But don’t judge, because I guarantee you’ll love its salty savoury flavour. Plus like all fermented foods, belachan is great for health. I would, however, suggest doing this in an outdoor kitchen, or with all your windows open, and preferably with friendly, out-of-town, or Southeast Asian neighbours.”

plusixfive sambal for sale

Even the blardy label is lovingly handmade OK!

So, how does this work?

(1) email plusixfive@gmail.com immediately to reserve your bottle and promise me you will pay me a FIVER. Its completely first come first served. Limited to ONE jar per person.

(2) you and the sambaldropper will meet at a secret location (*cough cough* ANGEL tube *cough cough*) in the early morning or late evening under the cover of darkness in the coming week and we will do the dirty. And also pass you the sambal.

(3) we will not make eye contact.

(4) you will identify the sambaldropper by his awesome handsomeness (and he will also be the doucchebag holding a bottle of sambal).

(5) the money exchange will be swift and silent.

(6) you will smile and I will dip my chin and giggle coyly.

(7) you will go home and enjoy the sambal appropriately and/or in throes of wild unbridled unrestrained ecstasy.

EMAIL PLUSIXFIVE@GMAIL.COM NOW FOR SOME SERIOUSLY SEXY SAMBAL.

What have people been saying?!

wendy (@dishpiglets)
I made Sambal Udang last night with your sambal! It was yum! I love the caramel-y taste!
tom (@citylights)
The lengths I’ll go to for Sambal apparently includes getting soaked in a thunderstorm :p
Inspired by your British/Sing cooking – used some of Sambal in British summer salad. Was stunning.
julie (@citycaphe)
my mum stole your jar of sambal too, she loves it! Can I reserve another jar from your next batch please ;)
john (@john2man)
We (mum,bro&me) tried @mummyicancook ‘s sambal. They had for 1st time made their own d other day. All agreed that SH’s better. :)
wen (@edible_exp)
Oy @mummyicancook Eh, I had your sambal egg for lunch. Finally. I. Absolutely. Love. It. Just wanted to tell you X

 

One Response to “STOP PRESS! THE GREAT SEXY SAMBAL SALE IS ON! ORDERS ARE NOW OPEN! (Very limited quantities!)”

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. plusixfiveshop AND ROUND 2 of The Great Sambal Sale (very limited jars. Like. Very.) « +(65)/plusixfive Supper Club - October 23, 2012

    [...] last Sambal Drop Off was a bloody success. Well for those who got in there so quickly [...]

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